The Next Best Thing.

By Kevin Williams

The Next Best Thing Stars Rupert Everett as a tank top wearing Gay gardener, and Madonna as a spiritual girl Yoga instructor. The two best friends share more than a few bottles of wine one night, and nine months later the salesclerks at Baby Gap know them by name. During a three-minute montage we see how easy and fun it is for a Straight woman and Gay man to raise a child from birth to around seven. By the end of this radio friendly montage music, available on the original soundtrack, Madonna meets a cute Straight man and the Gay guy becomes as forgotten as Madonna's Erotica CD.

The fight for custody, that you can see coming as you put the DVD in the player, arrives: bringing with it a courtroom revelation that… damn-it, it's too late for me! I've seen this Lifetime Television for women reject, but there's still hope for you! Save yourself the cost of renting this and the 108-minute running time --108 minutes I'll never get back! Madonna & Rupert are friends in real life and you'd think there'd be chemistry, or they thought there'd be chemistry. Sadly there wasn't a beaker or Bunsen burner to be found. I've had a bit of a crush on Rupert Everett since My Best Friend's Wedding, but not even seeing him work a pair of boxer-briefs was enough to save this flick.

BMO hits on The Next Best Thing.

 

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